Stretching My Faith...

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this:

to look after orphans and widows in their distress"

James 1:27

I will confess it is hard for me to leave my comfort zone.  I have felt called to go to 'far off lands' before to serve people in difficult times, but the thought of leaving my children half a world away to do it has kept me tucked safely in my bed at night.  Besides, what I do at my job is helping people right so why go to another country?  Well that feeling in the pit of my stomach, that calling, has never left.  Trips have come and gone, and I have never stepped out on the limb.  I could give you reasons why, but as that guy at the gym tells me, there are always reasons to not do something...you only need to find one to do it.

That "one reason" came as a picture of an adorable little girl on my Facebook page one day and a request from a PT school classmate, her forever mom.  She asked people to go on a trip to that little girls former orphanage and love the babies and nannies.  It just so happens that orphanage is one where most of the kids are special needs, and I just so happen to be a neonatal/pediatric physical therapist.  Helping babies and kids with special needs is my comfort zone; it is my calling.  So I took the plunge.  I woke Jeff up for his night shift to "honey, I am going to China in October", and I havent looked back yet.  I committed before I could talk myself out of it. 

There are still reasons not to go...the reasons that Satan keeps playing over and over again in my head.  He has honed in on the top two and is working it pretty well.  The biggest one he is using and will continue to use is my babies.  Ok, so they aren't really babies anymore, but they are still mine. For a mom to be half a world away from her children takes a leap of faith. For a mom that works in a children's hospital and sees people's worse fears become realities to be half a world away from her children takes every bit of faith she has.  God has been gracious, however, in providing me with examples of mothers that took the leap of faith in situations much harder than my own.  He also taught me early in my pregnancy with my oldest, Daniel, that they are not really mine anyway.  They are His and He somehow loves them more than I ever could and will care for them more than I will ever be able.  He gave me a picture of this today as Bryan and I were leaving his baseball practice.  Bryan choked on a grape this weekend at our home.  It came out before I realized it, but he really choked.  He couldn't talk.  On the way to our car tonight, we were talking about the incident because it was kind of traumatic on both of us.  Bryan in his little eight year old voice told me that at that moment he remembered what he had been taught in Bible class.  When you are scared, God is there with you.  So glad he gets it now if I would.  I just need to remember that I am leaving them with their Nana and Dad who care deeply for them but most importantly with an amazing God who is all they need anyway.

The other one is money (between $4000 and $4300 to be exact).  While Jeff and I are blessed, we are also still in catchup/paying off debt mode from all our years of school.  Am I being selfish to take money out of that process to go on this trip?  I had justified it in my mind by saying I would work more and cut back and pay for it.  Then I got an email from the team leader.  She encouraged us to fundraise/take donations.  Said it is part of the coming together as a team and seeing how God is going to provide process.  Let me just say, all those years of me working and raising the boys while Jeff was in school came flashing back to me.  We made it thru all those years of Jeffs school and training without asking for money from anyone so why would I do it now?  Asking people to help financially would really stretch my faith.  I guess I am prideful.  However, on my run tonight, God reminded me of all the non monetary help we got during those years, and how, yes, we did make it on limited income, but maybe He had something to do with it.  A modern day loaves and fishes story.  I was also reminded by a friend that people might want to donate.  She pointed out that some people will never be blessed to go to China and love on babies and by donating to this trip that is there way of taking part in it.  So here goes.  If you would like to donate click here.  On the Designated Fund tab, select "Act Missions".  In the participants name blank, write Angela Sorrell.  In the Notes write "China (Shaanxi Fall 2014)".  I am also going to attempt to make jewelery for a fundraiser.  While those of you that know my family may have high expectations, I really didn't get those genes :).  I can do a mean seriel cast on a baby's foot, but that is about as crafty as I get.  God is going to stretch me in that direction as well.  I am also going to work more and cut back.  If I go over the $4300, please know that the money you give will be used to help the orphanage in other ways.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.  Sorry for the lack of pics...remember, I am not crafty like that, but I will try to get better.

In Him,
Angel